Silent Sufferers
"I refuse to allow the rows of medications on the window sill to obscure my view of the sunrise." "Living with these diseases and disorders is a full time job."
"It is meant to be comforting to those who can relate and eye-opening for those who cannot." "Being chronically ill is, for the most part, definitely not a "blessing."
"I find it ironic that people are attacking you for the exact reason you wrote the article.....no sympathy or understanding." "People have a hard time showing compassion for something they can not see."
So difficult Bob.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are Ann's advocate.
Thanks Sue.
DeleteI am thankful your sweet wife has you. Jack and I try to take care of one another the best we can. Some days it is challenging since we both live with disabilities. I think our disabilities are also why we are pretty much alone with no visitors and few friends. People don't understand that we can't often make plans as we don't know what each day will bring.
ReplyDeleteI resonate with that inability to make plans Michelle. Things have gotten better for us but the wheelchair is always an issue when meeting friends. Our friends from church (about 10 of us) gather at our loft on Wednesday nights and provide a much needed human connection. And they are also a lot of fun!
DeleteMy wife's chronic fatigue syndrome is not as serious as some of the things mentioned. But perhaps because it is not so obvious she has had trouble with people understanding. I do think there needs to be more compassion here.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Mike. I find that to be true. Before the wheelchair folks did not really understand much about my wife's disease. And sometimes Christians were not too encouraging. Since leaving Charismania we have found friends at our church to be compassionate and understanding. And I do find it to be helpful to simply drop my guard and share our struggles. Sometimes this kind of sharing can foster compassion.
DeleteI do think you hit the nail on the head Bob.
DeleteIf a person doesn't really understand or have knowledge about the disability, it's hard to identify with the person. Sometimes I am not sure it's okay to ask more. Is it going to be thought of as snooping or encouraging a "pity party"?
I think in a safe environment it's great to drop the guard and share. I know I am a lot more patient and caring when I know something about the problem. I do feel I am a pretty compassionate person but I do want to be much more. Thanks for sharing your reply.
Sue
Appreciate the compassion that I see in you Sue. I do think that simple things can be done to welcome disabled folks. Most church services are geared for standing people and folks in wheeled chairs need to try a bit harder to be a part. Perhaps an occasional sing in your seats service would recognize and welcome folks like Ann? Or maybe find seating options that would give them unobstructed views of overhead screens and the stage area? I do not think it to be easy but it is not impossible.
DeleteThen of course there are the many folks who suffer in secret. Perhaps song and sermon selection could be considerate of these people without patronizing or speaking condescendingly to them? And , of course, it is always wise to stay away from cliches like "this too will pass". :)