A few weeks ago I heard someone say about another person "I love them but I do not like them!" I literally laughed out loud. What an absurd thought. I tried to clarify by asking if they meant to say that they loved them but did not like what that person did or is doing. No, they meant what they said and felt that it was perfectly logical to say that you love someone but do not like them. My reaction is that I really do not see much difference between loving and liking a person. And in a very real sense it is more important to like the person than it is to love them. Because it you like them, even though they may do things that you do not like, you will hang around them more and, perhaps, find a way to love them. In contrast, if you are focused on their behavior or their appearance (which you do not like) you will probably never really develop a relationship with them where you will have a chance to know them. And I think that it is healthier to admit that we do not love a person that to hide behind the "love but not like" cliché. Then we can come to grips with the things that keep us from loving.
Hmm. I think if you truly love someone it would be hard to not like them after a while.
ReplyDeleteThat makes sense to me Scott. The problem is that our dislike for someone's actions often cause us to avoid them all together. The net result is that we do not have a chance to show them like or love.
DeleteNow you have thrown me for a loop. I need to rethink this issue. I know people, whom I claim to love in the sense that the Master adjured us to love our neighbors, but whose personalities just clash with mine. I find them hard to "like." Yet I recognize their value as persons and realize that I am no more significant than they. Do justice, do unto others and all that. I am quite sure there are some fine Christian people adhering to Christ's teachings who do not like me at all.
ReplyDeleteGood points vanilla. I wonder if the challenge to love our neighbors, and even our enemies, means to put ourselves in places where we can actually show love to them? Perhaps the essence of putting ourselves in those places means we have to get over our dislikes? And if people do not like you, it is probably their problem and not yours. ツ
DeleteTo "put ourselves in places where we actually show love to them" may well be the answer both to loving others and to learn to like others in spite of the flaws we think we see. (I mean, we are all flawed, are we not?) Your point is well-taken. Loving is not lip-service, it is being of service.;
DeleteA line from a old Jimmy Stewart movie (Western ~ can't remember the name) had a line I never forgot. The young man in love with his daughter wanted his blessing to get married. Jimmy ask him if he likes his daughter...in response the young man went into deep detail about how much he LOVED his daughter and would go to any lengths for her. Again, the same question. Do you like her. What he was saying, it really a good thing to "LIKE" the person you plan to love and spend the rest of your life with. This is not a spiritual answer...like "Romantic Love, Brotherly Love, God's love...but I think it makes a lot of sense. I will be honest...there are times I don't like Don, and he for sure doesn't like me...But our love has lasted 52 years....and most of the time we really like each other. HaHa. Wish I was a deep theologian like some of your readers ....but that's how I see it.
ReplyDeleteLove that Wanda! I wonder though if you or Don are simply not liking what the other is doing rather than not liking them?
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