Expectations get us in trouble ...


Mark and Angel offer an interesting perspective in the post titled "7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others". Here are the first three expectations their list ...
  • Agreement: I so agree that we should not expect this from people. In their words "You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be."
  • Respect: "True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it." That is spot on and is deserving of others' respect.
  • Being Liked: Man can I ever relate to this. I cannot even think of one time that pleasing others has ever done anything for me. I so agree that "In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, the toughest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the battle to be yourself."
The fourth item on their list is the one that has gotten me in a lot of trouble. Here is how they frame it: "Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are." I think that this has troubled me most in religious settings where I expect people to act in accordance with my understanding of the words pastor or even Christian. And in other settings even words like friend or father can create unrealistic expectations. Sad how these expectations cause us to judge each other.

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8 comments:

  1. SusanOctober 13, 2013 at 4:59:00 PM CDT

    Our goal should be to have no expectations period. I know, easier said than done, but it's kinder and easier not only on "them" but on us, too.

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  2. WandaOctober 13, 2013 at 6:12:00 PM CDT

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. WandaOctober 13, 2013 at 8:38:00 PM CDT

    I did a really bad spelling job on my first comment, and had to delete it. Should have previewed it first. I agree to a point, but I've had people rise to my expectations with love and encouragement. I think I couldn't handle life without expectations. This does sometimes set us up for disappointment, but in some cases, worth the hurt to help build character in someone who will learn from it. (I not explaining this very well, but I know what I mean... Sorry.

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  4. Mike Erich the Mad TheologianOctober 13, 2013 at 9:13:00 PM CDT

    I think a lot of problems with expectations is expecting people to be who we want them to be rather then who they really are. If we can get past the idea that what we want is the standard it helps. Though I am far from claiming to have achieved this.

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  5. AliceOctober 14, 2013 at 6:14:00 AM CDT

    It is so freeing when you can step back from caring so much about being liked.

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  6. kc bobOctober 14, 2013 at 9:54:00 AM CDT

    Love the feedback about expectations. Was not expecting so many comments. ツ

    Here is a great comment from my friend Lisa on FB:

    "we turn around and AGAIN equate "hope" with "expectations. They are not the same thing!"

    So true. Hope is very different than expectations.

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  7. vanillaOctober 16, 2013 at 2:16:00 PM CDT

    In a brief word or so, having expectations of others leads surely to disappointment.

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