New York Bob Pillow

On very rare occasions.. when I am a bit ornery.. my co-workers call me New York Bob. This week one of these "friends" gave me this pillow for my birthday and recited the instructions below as we ate some cake.


New York Bob Syndrome Reliever Pillow

The New York Bob Pillow has been found to be one of the fastest and safest new devices for relieving the stress of the chronic disease of New York Bob. In tests done with New York mice it has been found to quickly relieve their stress and once again have them behaving like good old Kansas Bob again.

1. Please read all safety instructions before attempting any use.

2. Ask all family and friends to stand back as pillow is removed from packaging.

3. Remove from reusable protective sack when frustrated, angry, upset, confused and disappointed or other symptoms of New York Bob are becoming visible to others.

4. Hold pillow firmly in both hands about chest high

5. Locate center of pillow

6. Using right or left arm punch pillow as hard as strength allows. Repeat as often as needed to relieve symptoms of New York Bob.

7. Alternate use instructions: Hold up to face and scream into pillow preferably with rag in mouth to prevent soiling pillow for future use.

8. As the characteristics of Kansas Bob return allow yourself the time to rest from treatment.

9. Limited warranty on pillow, we take no responsibility for unlawful use of pillow. We recommend a protection plan on all pillow devices.
(All use should preferably be done privately or in padded room)