I am once again in the process of pondering the abortion question. This recent activity was initiated by UMC pastor Adam Hamilton's latest post titled:Why I'm "Pro-Life With a Heavy Heart"I recommend that you read the article and also read his writing about abortion in his latest book. I will be commenting more about that in the future. What I want to do today is to quote in part one of the commenters on Adam's blog who commented as mas:
I find myself unable condemn those who choose abortion, because I would consider it an enormous hypocrisy. I have not adopted any children whose parents did not want them. How can we condemn those who choose abortion, decry their inhumanity, or attack their motives when we refuse to participate or assist in the result of an unplanned pregnancy? I have noted that the most outspoken critics of abortion, the headlines grabbing folks, have no adopted children. It’s so easy to condemn it from the armchair, isn’t it? No need to get ruffled, wrinkled, inconvenienced or give up your income to one of those “saved from abortion” children. After all, surely someone, somewhere will take care of them, right? After raising three children, mostly on my own, I know the incredibly hard work and the measure of self-sacrifice required to do it well. But, amongst my friends and acquaintances who have stated they are against abortion, not one has adopted a child. Any child. Among people I know who have adopted a child, they came to the decision because after trying for some time, they were unable to have a child on their own, not because they wanted to save a child, although that was the wonderful result. And, what of those children who are born with significant birth defects or physical/mental handicaps? How many anti-abortionists are lined up to adopt these children when the parents decide they are unable or unwilling to care for them? The problem is a multi-faceted and heartbreaking one, because real babies and real parents are caught in desperate situations. I agree that we should pay much more attention to prevention and education. And, if folks really mean it when they say they are against abortion, it’s time for them to become part of the solution.I found this to be an interesting comment. I have two adopted children but our motives in adopting were not to rescue them from abortion. I only know of one couple that has come close to this kind of rescue adoption. Do you know of anyone.. or even heard of anyone.. who has rescued children by pledging to adopt a baby that would have otherwise been aborted?
In a different vein I found the comment to be slightly ill-thought-out. Using this logic one could say that you could not be against any sin unless you were willing to be a part of the solution. This logic would say that you could not be against suicide unless you worked on a suicide prevention crisis line. You get the idea.
Indeed. "I find it difficult to condemn those who engage in child abuse. I mean, sure, the thought of it is abhorrent, but how many of us is willing to take those abused children into our homes and care for them the way they should be cared for?"
ReplyDeleteIt seems this guy has used "against" and "condemn" interchangably. I wouldn't necessarily agree with that. It depends on what "condemn" means here. If by condemn we mean legal action, we are required to condemn a child abuser, not one who's had an abortion. If by condemn we mean to stand outside an abortion clinic and berate young women in trouble, well... make of that what you will. There's a difference between screaming about a problem and helping to create a solution.
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot more that can be done, outside of adopting unwanted children. Something many people don't take into account is that some of these women have never really had a "family" and were never taught that children had any value. I had the opportunity to help a drug addicted mother several years ago. She became pregnant again shortly after I became involved, and we offered to take in her older child while she completed rehab. She was going to have an abortion because she was terrified that her parents, who had ditched her in a group home from the ages of 6-12 because they chose drugs but refused to give up their rights, threatened to take her children from her. She had never learned how to be a mother. She still has a tough road ahead, but she's clean, she loves being a mother and she will forever trust me to help her because I didn't give up on her and tell her she wasn't good enough to be a mother. Sometimes you just need to take in or support a young woman, not take her child.
(also, as a healed victim of child abuse, I am less likely to condemn an abuser than those who choose "not to get involved")
Wow Missy! Your story is so inspirational.. made my morning.. thanks!
ReplyDeleteExcellent topic, even though its painful. I appreciate you bringing it up to talk about.
ReplyDeleteI like the comments left here too.
My personal thoughts - I find it difficult to condemn a woman (especially a young one with limited life experience/wisdom) because I've been in those shoes and made the choice to abort. I am not making excuses, but maybe giving insight: when you are young, alone, afraid and have adults telling you to your face that its not REALLY a baby yet, it makes it easier to choose abortion.
But I do have a hard time with the pro-choice people who go around as proponents for abortion. No excuse for that.
I did offer to take a baby once. I begged and cried to a 15 year old girl. I was already a single mom, Keven was about 5. She didn't go for it. :(
Missy made a great point, so did Casey.
The hard fact is that abortion isn’t going away anytime soon. There are women armed and ready to perform safe abortions if they become illegal. How on earth can we stop them? We can step up, when we find the time. We can educate, when parents will allow it. We can change religious belief that birth control is ok, when they stop to listen.
ReplyDeleteHonestly how much can the average person do?
I have also offered to raise children that weren’t mine when the mom wasn’t sure how she was going to handle two kids and an abusive man.
We can only pray for these women and the babies. We can take care of those God puts in our paths.
I have two adopted nieces one is named after me. :-}
This is a complex issue and I am glad Bob is going to engage it. I look forward to his post.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bob in his comment about the post. The argument is not logical as if demands anti-abotionists to adopt unwanted children who will otherwise be aborted. Saying that, one must sensitive to the hurt and anger in the post.
To add to the discussion, may I offer a post on the subject.