George Burns

Growing up in NYC I came home from school and often watched the "Burns and Allen" show on TV. Even then I loved George Burns quick wit and dry humor. In remembrance of those days I submit these quotes to you as only he could deliver them:

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.