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The following word 'definitions' come from Ambrose Bierce's
The Devil's Dictionary:
Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Calamities: Two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Politics: Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
I thought the last was a fitting end to the list :)
This is some list - you find the best stuff! Glad you share it with us.
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